TeamTalk
07.06.2020
Contents usually include: Old Boys Marist Senior & Junior rugby reports – weekly competition & draw winners – NZ Marist – affiliates Cricket, Netball, Football and Softball seasonal reports – Club Social events – News & Views etc etc.
Views and comments in this publication are not necessarily those of the executive or policy of the Napier Old Boys Marist Rugby Club.
“Team up with a Winning Club in 2020”
New Players and school-leavers always Welcome
Why would you play for Old Boys Marist ?
We have a simple philosophy at Napier Old Boys Marist – that we are a well organised rugby club both on and off the field, we are fit, disciplined, well coached and our players are very loyal. Our teams are always well presented.
At Napier Old Boys Marist we promote a strong work ethic, we play with a special passion and honesty which is fun to be part of, but we also expect our players to carry that honesty through to their work and personal lives.
In summary we as a club will create a positive environment so that players can expect to progress in their rugby careers. To excel players must also take responsibility for their rugby and life in general.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Important Message from Chairman Terry Gittings
Just click on and open up the link below
New Players and school-leavers always Welcome
‘Team up with Napier Old Boys Marist in 2020’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile – Winning is Winning!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Craig Gowler
Premier head coach
&
Director of Rugby Development
– 0272 402 550
or
Tim Jones
Director of Rugby
– 021 660 834
Your Enquiries Welcome
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With no rugby on at present here is your opportunity to look back at our
NOBM Premiers games from last season…
Vs Havelock North – Maddison Semi Final
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NAPIER OLD BOYS MARIST JUNIOR RUGBY
·
🏉 This is it! What we have all been waiting so long for, the kick off dates for our 2020 Junior Rugby Season
There’s a bit of information so please read to the end…
While we are still awaiting the announcement of when we will change to Level 1 there are, and will be regulations we need to comply with such as hand washing, contact tracing, training registers and allocated training fields but with the move between levels at any point this could all change but your coaches and committee will keep you informed.
🏉 First up we need you all to make sure you are registered, we are working to a very tight turn around time between registrations and the start of training so please, if you have not registered do so now, we will be sending a reminder email with a link. If you have already registered, thank you please be assured we have received it as we have 160 registered players already.
If you know of anyone new that would like to play for us please send them this link
‘click here to register a NEW NOBM Junior Rugby Player for 2020’
In the meantime please REGISTER your children online via Sporty to your local club.
If you know of anyone wanting to play for NOBM in 2020 that hasn’t registered with us before they can go to www.sporty.co.nz and look for the Napier Old Boys Marist Club link to register.
Here are your key dates
🏉 15th June – Training may start, there is to be no training any earlier than this date
🏉 16th June – Weigh in and gear sales 4-6pm at the clubrooms, you must weigh in at your own club on this night for traceability reasons. We will have club gear for sale with eft-pos on the night
Socks $15, Shorts $25, Vortex Jackets $50, Hoodies $75
🏉 25 July – Junior rugby kicks off, there will be 10 weeks of rugby with a wrap up grade specific tournament for all clubs on the final Saturday 26th September
2020 Season Fees – The fees include a training T shirt and club photo, please have your fees paid before weigh-in
1 child – $60 : 2 children – $110 : 3 Children – $130
Please pay into account – NOBM Junior Rugby 03-1355-0746519-00 Childs name as reference
💚 See you out there Green Machine!!
ALL NEW PLAYERS IN 2020 WELCOME
For further Junior Rugby Info
please contact > Bevan Condin (021) 160 5118 or Hayley Ceselli (021) 765 701
For more details check us out on Facebook:
2019 NOBM Junior Rugby Committee
Bevan Condin
(Chairman)
Dave Walls (Convenor), Hayley Ceselli (Secretary),
Glenn Fulcher, Rochelle Williams, Grant Frommherz, Therese Rodger.
“New Players Welcome to Team up with us in 2020
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
club noticeboard
MISSION statement
“To provide a sporting and recreational club for both men and women which encourages both individuals and teams to reach their maximum potential in their chosen sporting club endeavours.
In doing this it would always be our aim to maintain a fun club spirit, which treats every person equally and which ensures that the club runs on a profitable basis”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See YOU at the Clubrooms
On Saturday afternoons
All members and friends Welcome
Join our affiliate codes sportsmen/women – footballers, netballers, cricketers & softballers – at the clubrooms.
Call in for a cool TUI or two
Clubroom Bookings
for all Functions or Events
In the first instance please contact:
Director of Club Management
Wade Colville-Smith
Mobile – 021 059 3943
~~~~~~~~~
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOW IS THE TIME YOUR CLUB WANTS YOUR SUPPORT
NOW IS THE TIME YOUR CLUB WANTS YOUR FINANCIAL SUPPORT
With the possibility of a very much delayed kickoff to the 2020 season there is now a likelihood of having near normal season of two rounds which could likely run through into October taking place.
Now that the clearance has come down to Alert level 2 some initial training is likely to commence. More info on this is still to be announced. For now personal fitness training is the most important option until we get the all clear. So folks keep your fingers crossed and play safe…………….
A Special Message to our non-playing Members and Supporters – ie our readers.
For those of you who are in the position to maintain your Support of Your Club – Your Subs are now due and your support will be appreciated and keep us financially buoyant, as we haven’t been able to operate our normal clubrooms trading since we hosted the Spillane tournament back at the beginning of March.
SO NOW IS THE TIME
Your subscription of $50 can be paid by Direct Credit to the clubs
SBS Napier – Account – 03 1355 0760476 00
or
Cheque mailed to: Napier Old Boys Marist RFC, P0 Box 216, Napier
or
also at the Club Bar (when the clubrooms are open again soon)
Name…………………………………………………………………………….
Address…………………………………………………………………………. ……………………………………………………………………..
Ph. ………………………………………. Email ………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Also do you wish to have a Ticket in the Napier Old Boys Marists annual
‘200 Club’ @ $60 YES / NO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please Note:
A renewed or new membership will see you financial with the Club through until 31 March 2021
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
DID YOU KNOW
THAT the following is a Flashback to 10 years ago – 2010
Napier High School Old Boys RFC – CENTENARY – 1910-2010 This was certainly top weekend (4-6 June) of renewing old friendships and comparing the state of the game today, to their time out on the pitch. Also the getting accustomed to the vast difference of the running of a successful rugby (multi-sports) club to the traditional rugby club setup of yesteryear. The ‘rugby club’ is certainly now a business.
Yes, from the official opening on Friday evening through to the handshakes and farewells last night it was a marvellous weekend of fellowship and camaraderie. The rugby played on the two adjoining Tremain Fields was a mixed bag with two wins an a brace of losses. The loss by the Premiers against Napier Tech may have put an initial dampener of the occasion but having all been involved in playing the game at some time in the past you win some and you lose some. There is as always still that bit of unpredictability about the expected result – so what’s changed ?
It was certainly a packed house in the clubrooms after the final whistle and if it hadn’t been for the postponement of club netball and a number of football games on Saturday we would hardly have all fitted in, thus the reason for the marque outside. Moving on to Sunday and what an event.
The Centenary ‘long’ Luncheon for 130 kicked off with the usual pre-drinks from 11.30am and eventually concluded around five o’clock. The luncheon guest speaker Radio Sport commentator John McBeth was tops, plus the numerous other speakers who all added to making it such a special occasion. And then finally the Centenary Jersey auction concluded the official events of the day. Rumour has it that quite a number lingered on well into the later hours. And why not, Centenaries don’t come around everyday !
Among the top prices paid for the ‘lily white’ centenary jerseys: No.13 – $1100 (John & Jocey Chrystal). No.1 – $1000 (Bill Reilly). No.6 – $800 (Simon Tremain). No.15 – $800 (Paul Carney). As well as the set of 15 jerseys, secondary school scholarships to both Napier Boys High and St Johns College also went under the hammer and achieved excellent prices. All in all well in excess of $10,000 was raised toward the clubs Coaches & Player development fund.
Others to acquire jerseys included: 2. $400 Lance McNaught. 3. $600 Bill Reilly. 4. $175 Kerry Rich. 5. $200 Tony Dick. 7. $400 Paul McGettigan. 8. $550 John Chrystal. 9. $250 Pam Tremain. 10. $485 Bruce Hurst. 11. $400 Morrie Callaghan. 12. $325 Speedy Hawkins. 14. $575 Gael Dunstall.
In discussion with some of the weekends attendees there is a strong feeling toward running a couple of get-together luncheons throughout the season in future to maintain the links with the past players and the current club. We will keep you informed as to the progress on this front especially as we now have built up an extensive email contact data base for future communication.
Caught here in action in 2010 was our latest 50th Premier game blazer
recipient Eugene Gerrard during the Centenary match against Tech
playing in the specially produced former Napier High School
Old Boys Rugby strip.
THAT with the Premier grade due to ‘eventually’ kickoff their opening Nash Cup round fixture vs Napier Tech at Whitmore Park at 3pm on Saturday 20 June, there is also much interest from the remainder of our Saturday afternoon sides as to their projected kickoffs. The draw for the first rounds of the Premier Reserves, Thirds and Colts is also scheduled to commence on Saturday 20 June. The HBRU staff are still awaiting confirmation from some clubs if they will be entering a team, so until this is done the draw cannot be completed So as soon as these are finalised we will publish their fixtures
THAT with the arrival back of the previously ‘dumped’ Western Force who are scheduled to participate in the Australian pool of the Super Rugby domestic competition when it resumes, it is a wonder why the Australian Rugby Union didn’t hang on to them before instead of cutting them adrift. This is especially so with the current state of the finances of the ARU. If they in their wisdom handed an olive branch out to the out on a limb Western Force, whose owner and financial backer Andrew Forrest is reputed to be worth a mere A$6.8 billion and maybe also invited him onto the ARU board they may find some of their current financial woes remedied. Just a thought.
HERE is another old Irish proverb – An empty sack does not stand.
THAT it’s been a few years since McGoo’s Here and There appeared anywhere. With lockdown and no sport being played Eddie offered me a chance to reprise my former rugby/sports column that used to appear in the local club and rep programs. So I’ve rummaged up some old gems from a few years back.
JUST TWO . . . weeks till we get some local club footy action on our rugby fields. So that means the return of my Saturday morning poems on facebook and post match fotos of my scarf and letterboxes. No one will recognise the first half a dozen or so pics coz they were all taken in Perth when visiting there last August. From memory we were up to 15 unbeaten games as of last year’s Maddison Trophy extra time victory.
DID . . . you know that the “Mad Butcher” Peter Leitch used to sell seat cushions as a youngster at Athletic Park? (1998)
I’D . . . like to acknowledge and thank people out there for the positive feedback I’ve recieved about my “Here and There” weekly column. Some great emails have come in with suggestions for our Club 1st XV since we first took the field in 1991, apologies to my old mate Reece “Reebo” Robinson for leaving him off the list of locks last week. And one from Kim Atwell about our 1995 Champion Colts team that I’ll expand on at a later date.
WHAT . . . a surprise to see the name of Sport Hawke’s Bay’s liftout section in last week’s “Courier”. The title atop says “Team Talk”, that’s funny isn’t that the name of the Napier Old Boys Marist newsletter? Napier Old Boys Marist “Team Talk” editor Eddie Wilson admits the club hasn’t got rights on the name as such, but hey, this publication has been part of the local club rugby since 1970. What’s ironic is that he works in the same building as Sport Hawke’s Bay at McLean Park and knew nothing of it. (1998)
TWENTY . . . three at 66. Gary White gave the Tech Premiers a timely wake up call prior to the clash with Napier Old Boys Marist recently by naming former Hawke’s Bay and Pirates rugby rep Parl Gurdit-Singh on the bench. Parl would have to be the oldest impact player in the game. (1998)
A TRY BY . . . Hawke’s Bay Magpies lock Karaan Crawford were the only points scored by the New Zealand Maoris in their 3-9 loss to the 1965 Springbok. What’s unusual is that even though his try was scored under the posts there was no conversion, immediately after the touchdown thousands of enthusiastic supporters swarmed on to the field and couldn’t be removed. (1998)
HERE’S . . . a thought and a bit of fun too with our 30th anniversary on the field coming up in 2021, why don’t we come up with a Napier Old Boys Marist 1st XV since amalgamation? Some first/fives to ponder:- Simon Kerr, Eddie Hekenui, Marius Kriel, Regis Lespinas, Johnny Luano, Jason McDowell. Feel free to contact me with your thoughts to:- mcgoo@hotmail.co.nz (2020)
(2020)
Cheers McGoo
++++ Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.
THEY SAID IT
“I play with the fear of letting people down. That’s what motivates me.”
Englands super boot Johnny Wilkinson.
“He’s a big boy now – it’s been a while since I used make him cry in the backyard”
Blues Beauden Barrett on his big younger brother Jordie in the leadup the next weeks Blues Hurricanes encounter.
“For an 18-month suspension, I feel I probably should have torn it off. Then at least I could say, ‘Look, I’ve returned to South Africa with the guy’s ear.’”
South Africa’s Johan le Roux after biting the ear of Kiwi Sean Fitzpatrick.
“He’ll bring a lot of steel, he’ll bring a lot of desire back to the players and he will galvanise the team and they’ll go back to playing some really good rugby.”
England’s Eddie Jones on Dave Rennie taking over as the Wallabies coach.
Flashback to 75th Spillane Cup Winners
Flashback – New Zealand Marist President Henry Clark
(Nelson Marist) presents Napier Old Boys Marist captain
Michael Johnson with the Spillane Cup following his
teams tournament final win over Auckland Marist
by 39-12.
Napier take out the 2006 Title
The Final of the 75th Higgins Spillane Tournament saw host club Napier Old Boys Marist wrap up the Easter weekends rugby with a convincing 39-12, seven tries to two win over northern affiliates Auckland Marist. Pacy Napier winger and Magpie extended squad member Migao Lauano picked up a brace of tries and his hat trick for the weekend.
While in the promotion/relegation fixture Hawkes Bays Hastings Rugby & Sports assured themselves a spot in the 2007 ‘top division’ with a 24-10 win over Hamilton Marist.
In other matches played North Harbour Marist wrote off a Napier OB Marist lower grade selection 99-0. And Wairoa Celtic came out victors in a close fought 24-22 encounter against Marist St Pats.
NOBM had seven players selected in the 2006 Spillane Tournament XV : 3. Christian Pera (Napier), 6. Michael Johnson (Napier, Capt.), 8. Penisi Tokecece, 10. Mathew Berquist (Napier), 11. Ross Callaghan (Napier), 14 Migao Lauano (Napier), 15. Philip Huxford (Napier).
Some of us carry our
Heart in our hands
Test Your Rugby Knowledge
This weeks Poser – What was the award received by former AB captain Keiran Read in the Queens Birthday honours list ?
Poser 2 – Who were the All Blacks Rugby World Cup quarter final opponents last year ?
Poser 3 – Dan Carter to join the Blues. What was his former club in Japan ?
Poser 4 – Who played their 50th NOBM Prem game in the Maddison 36-17 semi final win last year vs Havelock North ?
Last weeks Poser – Do you remember the score in the 2020 Spillane Cup Final ? Answer – Napier OBM 38 Hutt OBM 31
Poser 2 – Here’s one to test you 1 ! Q1 Who was the NOBM Premier who scored the opening try of the 2019 season. & Q2 Who score the final premier try of the 2019 season ? Answer – Q1 Jack Winson in the 119-12 Nash Cup win vs Tech. Q2 Liam Edwards in the 43-24 Maddison trophy win over HRS.
Poser 3 – Which All Black captain had the highest ratio of test wins to losses: Richie McCaw, Brian Lochore, Kieran Read ? Answer – Richie McCaw
Poser 4 – The Crusaders won the 2019 Super Rugby Final 19-3. Who were the runners-up ? Answer – Jaguares
HBRU CANCELS CLUB AND SCHOOL AFFILIATION FEES FOR 2020
The Hawkes Bay Rugby Union has announced that all affiliation fees for clubs and secondary schools will be waived for the 2020 season. The move, which was recently approved by the HBRU Board who were fully in favour of supporting Hawkes Bay community rugby and the province in any way possible.
Clubs will be collecting player subs to cover gear, travel and all general running costs etc but the decision means that there will be no costs for clubs and schools to enter club rugby competitions throughout for the upcoming season and to help reduce the impact of COVID-19.
“Whilst this reduction in costs is not a solution for financial challenges, it is one less expense for clubs and schools to worry about this year” said Jay Campbell, HBRU CEO
Hawkes Bay Rugby also encouraged all clubs where possible to apply for the sporting resilience funding through Sport HB and are positive that if received will be a godsend in these unprecedented times.
We look forward to Club rugby taking the field on the 20th June and encourage any men, women, and colts grade players wanting to play to get in touch with your local club. A full list of clubs and contacts can be found on the Hawkes Bay Community Rugby website
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MITRE10 CUP – Sun 9 Aug vs Southland (Invercargill) – Sat 15 Aug vs Counties Manukau (McLean Pk @ 2.05pm) – Sun 23 Aug vs Canterbury (McLean Pk @ 4.35pm) – Sun 30 Aug vs Otago (Dunedin) – Fri 4 Sep vs North Harbour (North Harbour) – Sat 12 Sept vs Northland (McLean Park @ 2.05pm) – Fri 18 Sept vs Manawatu (McLean Park @ 7.05pm) – 26 Sept vs Bay of Plenty (Tauranga) – Fri 2 Oct vs Wellington (McLean Park @ 7.05pm) – Sun 11 Oct vs Taranaki (New Plymouth) – Fri 16/Sat 17 Oct – Semi Final – Fri 22/Sat 24 Oct – FINAL
Aotearoa Comp. – Round 1
Sat.13 June – Highlanders v Chiefs @ Dunedin 5.05pm
Sun.14 June – Blues v Hurricanes @ Auckland 3.05pm
Bye – Crusaders
HOME INTERNATIONALS – An update on whether any of these or which games will proceed is still to be announced. 4 July vs Wales (Auckland), 11 July v Wales (Wellington), 18 July v Scotland (Dunedin) ::: 15 August v Australia (Wellington), 29 August v Argentina (Hamilton), 5 September v South Africa (Auckland)
New Zealand Marist Rugby Federation
An organization initiated to promote and foster a spirit of union, co-operation and close friendly relations between all Marist and similar rugby union football clubs in New Zealand, Australasia and the Pacific.
Neil Murphy
General Manager
Ellwood Function Centre, Otene Road, Hastings
Phone: 0274 070 809
E-mail: murph@maristrugby.org.nz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www. maristrugby.org.nz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMING EVENTS
+ Dates still to be finalized…
2020 NZ Marist Colts tour – Northland/Auckland regions – This years tour has been cancelled.
2020 NZ MARIST XV v NZR Divisional XV
>>> www.maristrugby.org.nz <<<
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pass the Word Around
Come along and join our club in 2020
Napier Ex High Marist Netball Club
Hi everyone – we hope you’re all keeping well and staying safe.
HB Netball is tentatively looking at 20 June for a netball start date – dependent on direction from the Government and Netball NZ.
We need to know who is still keen to play this season, so your team manager will be in touch soon, or feel free to contact them.
At this stage we don’t know any specifics, but there is a possibility that spectators won’t be allowed at the courts, so this may affect the ability to play for those of you who usually bring your children along.
There’ll be no judgement if you choose not to play this season because of COVID-19. We understand everyone will feel differently about it.
We will update you again when we know more.
In the meantime, HB Netball has more info on their page that you may wish to read – http://www.hawkesbaynetball.co.nz/newsarticle/90186
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> For more Info please Contact: President: Glenys Hannan 027 8355 565
Secretary/Treasurer: Jacqui Gardiner 0272 398 204 / Gear Manager: Jo Exeter 0276 227 607 / Jill Verschaffelt 027 299 2704
Like us on facebook to keep up to date with all the happenings.
‘Team up with ExHigh Marist Netball in 2020′
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Napier Marist FC
2020 Committee Members
Chairman – Chris Guillemot
Treasurer – Nicola Brown Secretary – Larissa Duwakin Club Captain – Ken Cooper
Executive – Sheree Lack, Marty Akers, Carl Hunt
Coaching Coordinator – Marty Akers
Junior Club Captain – James McIntosh. Junior Committee Rep – Anna Quinn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to our clubs major sponsors –
Alexander Electrical – Bay Mazda – Bay Tours & Charters – BTG – Engage Video – Latteys –
Matt Sinclair Harcourts – Nelson Signs – On Line Autos – Pak n Save – Pro Active Physio – Pro Blast – Red Steel – Shed 2 – Vision Homes – Westshore Beach Inn
—————————-
>>> For all Napier Marist Football info please contact – Chris Guillemot – 0278 450 952
chris.guillemot@coffeydavidson.co.nz
“Play Napier Marist Football in 2020 New Players Welcome”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NAPIER OLD BOYS MARIST CRICKET
The NOMBCC committee have decided to POSTPONE the upcoming
2019/20 Senior and Junior Prizegivings until the clubs AGM in August.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOBMCC OFFICERS 2019-20
Patron: John O’Shaughnessy
President: Dave Herrick
Secretary: Andrew Frame
Auditor: David Pearson Treasurer: James McCorkindale
Chairman: Del Whyte
Committee: Del Whyte, Matthew Sinclair, Glen Walklin, Daniel Whyte, Calim Leathard, Scott Morgan, Stu Lindsay
+ Club coaches and Team Captains
New Players Always Welcome
For all Cricket Info please contact:
– Secretary – Andrew Frame ph.843 7701 H / 021 102 4990 – theframes@slingshot.co.nz
or Del Whyte – 021 705 030 – del@nbhs.school.nz
“New Players Welcome to Team up with us again for the 2020-21 Season”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NAPIER MARIST SOFTBALL
Contacts: Club Chairman: Craig Smith. Secretary: Abby Whitley – 027 8450 735 – abbyw1990@gmail.com
Club Contact: Dianne de Lautour – 027 240 3235
“New Players Welcome to Team up with us for the 2020-21”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Leprauchan Comments
Every night, an Irishman walks into a bar and orders three shots of whiskey. He downs each shot, pays the barman and leaves.
The bartender eventually asks him why he always drinks exactly three shots.
“It’s one for me and one for each of my brothers,” he tells the bartender. “One is in America and the other is in Australia, and we do this to feel like we’re all still drinking together.”
A month later the Irishman only orders two shots of whiskey.
“Oh no,” says the barman. “I’m sorry for your loss. Was it the one in America or Australia?”
“What?” The Irishman looks puzzled, then glances at the whiskey glasses. “Hell no, it’s nothin’ like that. It’s just that I’ve decided to stop drinking.”
Two Irishmen were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car’s indicators are working.
He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
An Aussie husband was engrossed in reading an AFL magazine while his wife was reading the newspaper. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“Get this,” she said. “Some guy put an ad in here offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the MCG.”
“Hmmmmm,” her husband mumbled, still engrossed in his magazine.
Wanting to test him, she asked, “Would you swap me for a season ticket?”
“Absolutely not!” he said.
“That’s so sweet,” she replied. “Tell me why not.”
“Heck, the season’s more than half over now !” he replied.
Saddam Hussein was hanging out in his palace deciding who to invade next, when his phone started ringing.
“Saddam?” said the voice on the other end. “This is Murphy from Cork callin’. It’s a courtesy call to inform you that we’ve declared official war on you.”
Saddam thought for a second, then said, “Murphy, thank you for this news. I’m curious – can you tell me the size of your army?”
There was silence on the line. Saddam said, “Murphy?”
Murphy replied, “Hold on, I’m countin’ it now. It looks like between me, me brother John, his brother-in-law Kelly and the fire brigade, we have eleven.”
“Well Murphy,” Saddam said, “I feel it only fair to let you know I have 600,000 soldiers ready to move on my orders.”
“Crikey!” said Murphy, “I’ll have to get back to you.”
That afternoon the phone rang again. “Alright, then, Saddam,” said Murphy, “the war is still full speed ahead. We’ve managed to obtain some machinery.”
“Machinery?” said Hussein. “And what exactly are we talking about, Murphy?”
“Well, at last count, we’ve acquired two backhoes, a harvester, and a new diesel tractor Paddy says we can use.”
“I have to let you know, Murphy,” Saddam sighed, “we have eleven thousand personnel carriers and twice that many tanks. We’ve also drafted another 200,000 men into the army since this morning.”
“Ye Gods!” said Murphy. “I’ll have to call you back.”
Like clockwork, Murphy called again the next morning. “Alright then, Saddam, the war is still full speed ahead. We’ve managed to acquire an airborne division and we’ve increased our numbers. We’ve mounted two shotguns on Tommy’s Cessna, and the full bowling team has enlisted.”
Once more Saddam sighed and said, “Murphy, I have 5,000 Russian fighter jets, and we drafted another 200,000 men this morning, for a total of one million.”
“My God!” said Murphy, “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Later that evening Saddam’s phone rang again. “Saddam, it’s sad I am to inform you we’ve had to postpone the war indefinitely.”
“This is shocking news, Murphy,” Saddam replied. “And why is that, exactly?”
Murphy said, “Well, we checked with all the wives, and they said there’s no way in heaven they’ll cook for a million prisoners.”
We look forward to seeing all rugby players, footballers, netballers, cricketers and softballers and friends at the clubrooms each Saturday – Pop in for cool Tui or two – Also bring along your mates for an Ale and a chat. All members and Friends Welcome …………. Ed
www.napierobmaristrugby.co.nz
Napier Old Boys Marist Rugby – Napier Old Boys Marist Cricket – Napier Marist Football – Napier Marist Netball – Napier Marist Softball
”Team up with Napier Old Boys Marist”
Readers please Note: >>> As we now have in excess of 1200+ email recipients in different groups that receive TeamTalk each week we wish to remind you that if you would like to add a friend or associate or if you want to be removed from our Email address list please notify –
eddiewilson@xtra.co.nz
Our 2020 Napier Old Boys Marist Club Sponsors
Major
WIT Whatever It Takes – Richard Kepka Builders – Sideline Bar – Tremain Real Estate – Programmed Property Services – Napier Collision Repair Centre – Maurice Trapp Group – Best Travel – Motordrome Tyre Service – Broker Webb Risk Services – Devine Plumbing – BJ Mahony Shearing – Gailbraith Earthmovers – Hirepool – Red Steel – Shape Life & Financial Services – Tech Group – Scott Applegate Electrician – Vertex
General
Thinkwater Hawkes Bay – Ainsworth and Collinson Ltd – DB Breweries – BWR – Conroy Removals – Napier Sandblasting – Danks Carpet Court – YOU Travel – Nelson Signs – Lawson Robinson – Kooga – Onekawa Liquorland – Chris Wiig – Cautions Restaurant @ Shed 2 – Konica Minolta – Proactive
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eastern & Central Community Trust – Endeavour Community Foundation – Four Winds Foundation –
Infinity Foundation Ltd – Lion Foundation – New Zealand Community Trust – Pub Charity – The Southern Trust –